Being feminine in a feminist world

Wellll...that once a month posting idea worked great until February hit. Then life took over. XD I have a post today that's a little bit different, but it's something that's been on my heart a lot as of late. 

Hopefully it's something that speaks to you, though I know it's something not everyone will agree with. 

*Cringes using pic of myself but it fit the title rly well* xD

There's a lot of talk today about how women are supposed to act. We're to be bold and confident, not afraid to challenge age-old stigmas. We’re supposed to show that we can do anything we put our mind to. 

On the other hand, there's those who say it's wrong that way. Women were meant to raise children and stay home, not start careers and do everything "as good as the guys." They’re to be meek and quiet, not bold and unafraid to forge their own path.

And I’ll be the first to admit that It can be confusing to know how to act, how to respond. Does it have to be one extreme or the other? Is there anyway to have some middle ground? Is it possible to have a voice and at the same time, encourage our brothers in Christ and not take over the role they play?

Then there's the guys. It's considered sexist when they open a door for us, and if they offer to help carry something they may as well be living in the dark ages. We need to prove that we can do everything they can. There's no such thing as gender roles anymore, and chivalry is a thing of the past. 

We complain when guys don't help us. We become infuriated when they do. 

It's been something I've been thinking about a lot as of late. My field internships for AEMT are at a fire/EMS station. It's been the first time that I've been in a primarily guy-dominated career. In the whole program there are 3 girls, and it took me a little while to adjust. It was a huge switch from the hospital, where nursing is definitely a female-dominated career. 

It was also different in another way. When out on calls, I'm treated as an equal. When we're at the station it's different. They open doors for me and refuse to let me do the same for them. They insist I go first when getting food, and are extremely protective.

 And I surprised myself by being unsure about how I felt about it. 

On one hand, it was how I was raised. I should have been used to it. 

But on the other, I'm used to proving myself. I'm competitive. I've learned that the world I work in is different then the world I grew up in. I've worked hard to earn my independence and show that I can be "as good as the guys." And letting them help me made me feel as if I was giving it up. 

It made me stop and think. Just because guys use manners and treat us with respect, how does that, in any way, make us feel threatened? 

They're not denying that we can do something. They're not telling us to stop. They're not pushing us out of the way. They're simply showing courtesy and treating us as if we're special. 

Society has trained us to value independence above all else. But you know, maybe that's not the best way after all. Independence will only get you so far. 

All of us, at one point or another, will need help. We depend on each other; no one person can do everything alone. 

And yes, that means that there are times when a guy can do it better and he's the one who's helping you. 

It goes against everything the culture teaches, but there are gender roles. Women tend to want to be protected and loved while guys need to feel that they are needed and that they need to protect. 

Is it possible to work in a guy-dominated career, and yet still be a lady? 

I would say yes, and this is why. There is a time for everything. In the Bible you have Deborah, Lydia, Esther, Ruth - all women who stepped up to the plate and took on the roles God gave them. 

There’s a time to be strong, to be a leader. A time where we’re the ones in charge, and *that’s okay*. It’s okay to do something that may be considered more a "guy job" and to work alongside them. And it’s also okay to step back and let them do something when they are willing and able to do it.

I’m not sure this is coming across the way I want it to so I’m gonna use an example. XD When a guy offers to help me with a chore, carry something for me, or even open a door, my first response is generally, “Oh, no I got it. Thanks tho.”

And it’s hit me lately that I’m doing it all wrong. How hard is it to let someone open the door for me? How much pride do I have to swallow to let him carry something I’m struggling with?

It’s not hard to let him help. Yet I struggle with it. As if I’m somehow admitting that I’m not good enough. And ya know what? I’m not. I’ll never be as strong as a guy; I’ll never be able to do quite as much. But that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I’m weaker, it means my gifts and strengths are different. It means I’m letting a guy treat me with respect. Every girl wants to be treated special — so why when a guy treats us that way to we protest?

We can’t send mixed signals without causing things to go haywire. There’s a time to step up; there’s a time to step back and let a guy go first. Both are perfectly acceptable - in their own times.