Monday, October 30, 2017

Autumn Ramblings

Hi, my name is Jesseca. You might remember me . . . I blog here occasionally.

*sighs* I know, I haven't been on here much at all. Or anywhere in the blogging world, for that matter. I've gotten behind on reading posts and commenting. And replying to comments here on my own blog. I wish I had a legitimate reason for why I haven't been too active . . . but the truth is, I don't. Just . . . life. I don't have any stories, or life altering events to share. I don't have any happily-ever-after tales to share of someone that I met this summer.

No, life's just gotten a bit crazier. And it's weird, because normally around this time it would have settled into a nice routine and I would have plenty of time scheduled for blogging and writing. But for some reason, it hasn't been that way. And to be honest, I've struggled with it. A lot. As August passed and September rolled around, I got the distinct feeling that, somehow, this summer had changed everything. And I knew that after this year, nothing would be the same. Friends I know have gone off to college, or gotten married. Others have started serious relationships with godly young men. And while I'm happy for them, it's also bittersweet. Because things will never be quite the same as they were before.

And while that's been happening, I've been struggling with different things. Mostly in my walk with God. It's been hard and I've struggled, yet, I feel like I've grown stronger and closer to God through it.
Sooo .  . . I thought that I'd do a post explaining a bit, and talking about what God's been teaching me this year. (Also, I'm gonna say right now, this blog post is something like a bunch of my thoughts spilling from a whole bunch of different directions. You've been warned.)

One thing that's God's been teaching me this year is that even when everything else is changing around us, He is the same. He is constant. And because of that, the only way we can find our identity is in Him. That's one thing I've been thinking about a ton as of late. Who am I? What is my purpose in the world? On the surface, I'm just a normal homeschool graduate. I play piano and babysit. I help out around the house. I love my family. But does that define me?  I'm one of those people who loves the simple things. Watching a sunset, driving down a dirt road, feeling the wind through my hair. I feel things strongly, but often can't figure out a way to communicate what I'm feeling, so I don't try.  I'm passionate about history, and telling stories of times gone by. I love my country, second only to my God and my family.

But that doesn't set me apart from the millions of other people on this earth. I've struggled a lot with this. If these things can't define who I am, then what does?

Jesus. He's told me I'm redeemed. I'm chosen. I'm one of His children. And that He loves me. No matter where life takes me, and no mater what happens in the future, that will never change. And when I realized that, do you know what I discovered? When who you are is grounded in the One who made you, the future doesn't seem so intimidating. And the mundane, daily tasks that you do every day suddenly have more meaning. Because when you know who you are in Christ, then you understand that wherever you are right now in your life is where He wants you. I don't know about you, but that added a whole new level to life that I'm still trying to grasp. Every task you do, every single one, is given to you, by God to do for His glory.

Yet, even with this, so often it seems that in the day to day routine, our sense of urgency for the kingdom of God is lost. Why aren't we on fire for God? Why aren't we taking every opportunity to share about Him? It's through Christ that we have been redeemed and it's for Christ that we live. So why isn't He the central part of our every day lives?
I don't know about you, but for me, it's so easy to think of "someday" when you'll make a difference in the world for Christ. To be honest, one of my dreams is to share Christ with those in the Military. I know, it may sound . . . weird. But just think of all the people who put their lives on the line for you? Don't you wish you could be sure that, if they were killed protecting your freedom, they knew where they would spend eternity?  (I have a whole long post on this that I'll write sometime. This post is already getting long enough.)
But it's so easy to think of that one day when I'll finally be making a difference for Christ and His kingdom. Yet, if I live with that sort of view, I waste every precious day wanting the future. Yes, to have a vision is good. But every day needs lived in light of eternity. To every person you touch. Your kindness to someone at the grocery store. Your smile that stands out in a world where happiness is often only skin deep. Your service to those around you. You never know what small act God may use to touch a life though you.

So yeah. Just a few thoughts that hopefully made some small amount of sense. Though, I know it may not have. ;) I'd like to say I'll be back blogging more regularly, but I can't promise that. I have a lot of idea for different posts, so I may end posting whenever I get a minute to write them.
Also, I will get a written update up soon. I know it's been a long time since I've done one of those!

So let's talk. How are you doing? How has life been going for you? Anything God has been teaching you lately?


  1. Jesseca, I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one who has felt this way. I've been there, felt that, watched my friends move on with their lives (married, moved away, etc.), and I'm still at home. Am I really doing anything worthwhile? What is my purpose? The answer is simple really: Whether you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.
    And yeah, it's easy to think "someday" but what about now? Is that book review I am writing bringing glory to God? Is the email I'm sending tearing someone apart or lifting them up? Are the conversations I'm having with my friends full of nothing or do they get beyond the chit-chat to something else? Even just a comment that you make might make them think differently about something.
    But overall, it is a challenge, it is a struggle. Just know you aren't alone. :)
    (And if I don't stop, this comment will be as long as your post! :P )

    1. Thank you, Rebekah. <3 Yeah, it's kinda hard to keep the right perspective, but I know it's right. That verse is so true. Whatever you do . . . God can use it all.

      Thank you so much for commenting!

  2. I feel like that a lot, too. What am I doing that would be worthy of praise? Not much. After I graduate, I'm going to have to do something (or at least I feel like that), but I don't know what. Not college or marriage; at least I don't think so!

    So ... what am I going to do? I guess just trust God and wait for Him to make a path clear to me. There's a verse I really like about that (I think it ties in with what you said here just a little): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." I think I need to write that on my forehead or something. xD

    It's so cool that you were able to come to that place in your relationship with God! That's exciting! Recently, God has really been telling me to just rest in Him. Which is a simple message, but one I need. Not quite there yet, though. :P

    1. Yeah, trusting God sounds so simple, but in reality it's one of the hardest things to do.

      *hugs* I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Goodness knows what God can accomplish when we all start praying for one another. ;)

  3. Change is really hard sometimes, one of my closest friends just moved half way across the country from me. And it's hard. I miss her like crazy.. But what God has been teaching me is that I need to be spending more time with Him. HE truly is my best friend and my closest confadint. Through every struggle and hardship he is using that to draw me closer to him and his perfect will.
    The ramblingsof a Bookworm

    1. Ah, yeah, that is hard! I've had that happen before. But yeah, wow, what a powerful lesson that is. Sometimes God uses the hardest circumstances to teach us His most timeless truths. <3

  4. Thank you so much for sharing your heart! I have been learning from God that He is always good. He never does anything that is not good. God is in control and it is good. Even when I feel like God is not there or he is not being good to me. God is always only good! This song has been my favorite!

    1. Thank you, Rachel. <3 And yes, so, so true! God is so good. All the time. And that song is so beautiful! Thanks for sharing it with me. :)

  5. I appreciate your openness and honesty in this post! It must be hard to have things change, and not going how you might've expected. Those are such powerful lessons God's been teaching you through it, though. Thanks for sharing. Know you're missed, but I understand life doesn't always allow everything. Stay strong, friend! xx

    1. Thank you, Jessica! I'm glad it was somewhat of a blessing. I . . . don't really enjoy being totally honest, but sometimes it's best. ;)
      And yeah, God can use the hardest time to teach us the most important lessons.
      Thank you. <3