Indie e-Con Scavenger Hunt 2018 Stop #12

Hello all! Welcome to the Indie E-con. Maybe you've seen a bit about it around, but aren't quite sure what it is. Well, it's an online writing conference for anyone who would like to attend. There are prizes, contests, informative posts, and much more. Today is the kick-off for the Indie E-con, and this is the twelfth stop on the scavenger hunt. I'm hosting one of our amazing authors, Angie Thomspon.

-If you want to know more about the Indie e-con and find out more info go here.
-To start the scavenger hunt at the beginning go here. 
-To read my post on Morgan's blog go here.

The Quote That Changed My Story

Angie Thompson

What if I told you that one of the most pivotal influences in my whole writing journey was a quote? Okay, you’re probably not surprised. What if I told you it wasn’t a quote from a book but from a movie? Well, I’m sure you’ve heard that bookworms do sometimes watch movies. But what if I told you it wasn’t a quote from a Hollywood blockbuster but from a little, independent Christian film called “Facing the Giants”?
Are you scratching your head yet? If you’ve seen the movie, maybe not; it’s got a lot of inspiring scenes and soundbites to choose from. But what if I told you that God used a quote about making the football team to completely overhaul my perspective on writing?

No, the quote didn’t inspire one of my stories. It didn’t clarify a fuzzy character motivation. It didn’t send me away determined to write something just as inspiring and powerful.
What it did was to bring me face to face with my own fears and insecurities in a way I’d never seen them before.
The quote God used to rock my world and my writing came in a scene where former soccer player David is talking to his dad about the idea of trying out for the football team. After David gives several reasons why he wouldn’t be a good fit, his dad asks, “Are you saying you’re not interested? Or that you’d like to try out, but you’re afraid?”
David replies, “What if I don’t even make the team?”
And his dad answers, “Well, you’re already not on the team. You can’t be any more not on the team than you already are.”
The scene went on. The movie went on. There was more inspiring talk about fear and failure and potential. But with the words above, my life had changed.
Not immediately, mind you. In fact, my first response was to shake my head and say, “That’s different.” But the Lord began to prod me. To ask me why. To make me dig down into a little corner of my heart that I’d never tried to explore.
And when I got there, I found that I didn’t fear missed opportunity. That there was something else at the core of my fear of failure. That what I feared most, deep inside, was rejection.

You see, if David never tried out, he would always have a “might have been good enough” to cling to. But if he tried out and didn’t make the team, a little part of his hopes and dreams would die. Someone would have judged him not good enough. Not competent. Not worthy.
He wouldn’t be “not on the team” by his own choice, but by the choice of another.
As I wrestled with the quote and my reaction to it, I was forced to face my own personal giants--the looming fear of rejection and desire for approval that lurked in the shadows of all my goals. I’d always hoped to be a published author, but in my heart was an undercurrent of fear that found voice in David’s hesitant, “What if I don’t even make the team?”

Slowly and gently, God opened my eyes to see that David’s dad was exactly right. Not trying out didn’t carry the same sting for David, but it didn’t put him any closer to reaching his potential. Not accumulating a stack of rejection letters meant fewer tears for me, but it didn’t put me any closer to sharing my stories with the world.
In fact, I discovered that not trying was a shield. A prop for my pride. A selfish way of hiding my light under a bushel for fear it would be extinguished if I brought it out. But I serve a God big enough to defeat my fears, wise enough to carry my dreams, and gentle enough to shelter my heart.
The message finally took root.
It was nearly ten years after this revelation when I finally wrote a story that I thought might be worthy of publication. And when I finished it, I hesitated. The fear was still real.
“You’re already not on the team.”
I sent it to a small publisher. It was rejected. Maybe it really was as flawed as the editor thought.
I cried. But I lived. And I proved the truth of the quote that had made me send it. I wasn’t any further from my dream than I had been while sitting in my kitchen with an unsubmitted manuscript. The rejection stung. But I had done my part.

Nearly two years later, I had a massive streak of inspiration where I wrote and edited a completely new book over the span of a couple months. I’d been learning more and more about independent publishing and wanted to be able to give my grandpa a real book for Christmas (as opposed to the printer-paper manuscripts he usually gets). I went for it and suddenly found myself confronted with the monster task of telling my friends, contacting reviewers, and getting the word out online. Not one potential rejection but dozens. (Yes, just dozens; I’m still working on the marketing thing.)
“You can’t be any more not on the team than you already are.”

In His grace, God has used that quote to remind, center, and encourage me more times than I can count on this long and sometimes rocky journey from writer to author. It reminds me that rejection doesn’t destroy, that fear stagnates, and that my part is to step out, to try, and to leave the results in His hands.
So congratulations, David. After all these years, we’ve both made the team. :)