Friday, February 5, 2016

Flash fiction: Peace in the Rain

Hey everyone! Happy Friday! I hope your week has gone well. I'm so looking forward to the weekend! We're supposed to have weather in the 50s (last weekend the weather was 67*. In January.) One reason I love living in Kansas. We never get only one season at a time. ;) 

Today I'm participating in a Flash fiction(short fiction around 1,000 words)  which is held by Rachelle over at The Ink Loft
I was given this picture as a prompt.

Since I happen to know the person who gave me the prompt, I think there may be a reason she gave me this prompt. . .but since I'm not sure, I won't say anything else. ;) 
Anyway, here is my piece! 

“No. Don’t you dare pray for my father.” Larissa’s voice was sharp, startling both Grant and Laura.
“All he’s done his whole life is hurt others. He never cared, never wanted us.” As she spoke, her eyes filled with angry tears. “He deserves everything horrible thing that happens to him. And if God is anything like the father he was, I don’t want anything to do with Him!” Without another word, she went back inside and closed the door behind her.
Grant and Laura stood there for a moment, dumbfounded at the scene they had just witnessed.
“I had no idea she was hurting so bad.” Laura’s voice was low and quiet, every trace of her usual sunny smile gone from her face.
Grant nodded. “Yeah. It’s gotta be hard on her."
Brother and sister walked back to the car, their manner subdued. As they drove away, Laura turned to her brother. “I guess we’ll just have to keep praying.”

The Next Day 

Halfway through class, Grant’s cellphone vibrated. He resisted the urge to look at it and kept his attention on the professor.
Within seconds it vibrated again. Again, he left it. The third time it vibrated he slid his hand in his pocket and pulled it out.
All three messages were from Laura.
Grant, something’s wrong.
I need you, Grant. I’m outside the side doors.
Help me, Grant!
Thoroughly alarmed, Grant didn’t have a second thought as he jumped out of his desk and started toward the door.
“Mr. Martin, class has not been dismissed.”
Grant hardly spared the professor a glance as he opened the door. “My sister needs me.”
He could only imagine the disturbance his absence would cause in the class. At the moment he didn’t care.
Laura wasn’t one to over-exaggerate; if she said she needed help, she needed help. He nearly ran through the hallway to the side doors. One glance outside and Grant felt his heart drop into his stomach.
A police car had pulled up in front of the university, and a few people had gathered around someone who was lying on the ground.
Not just someone. It was Laura.
Grant dashed out into the rain, not even feeling the chill in the air. He pushed his way through the small crowd, fighting to get a good look at Laura.
“Come on, let me through! That’s my sister.”
At those words, the crowd parted, but before he could get much closer, the police officer put a hand on his shoulder. “She’s going, son. She won’t be with us much longer.”
Before Grant could comprehend exactly what the officer said, he found himself standing next to Laura. Her body lay on the cement, looking pale and fragile. Her chest still rose and fell, but every breath caused her to shudder.
He knelt down beside her. “Laura?”
Her eyes met his. “Grant. You-came.”
Grant’s eyes filled with tears. Why hadn’t he looked at his phone the first time? Why had he waited? “Laura, what happened? How did this happen?”
Laura’s breathing was labored. “Larissa.” Her voice was hardly more than a whisper and he had to lean down to hear her above the sound of the rain. “She was--in trouble. She was--crying. I wanted you to--talk--to her. She wouldn’t wait. She ran outside. The car. She didn’t see--it. It was headed straight for her.”
Grant’s tears spilled over, mixing with the rain on his cheeks. “Oh, Laura!” He knew then what had happened. Laura wouldn't have waited for help, and she knew Larissa wouldn't hear her in the rain. She ran to get Larissa out of the way, but she hadn’t had time to move herself.
“Oh, Laura.” Words seemed to evade him and he threaded his fingers through hers. “Hang on, Laura. You’ll be alright.”
But Laura shook her head, “I’m going home, Grant. I won’t be here much longer.”
Grant refused to believe it. “No, you’ll be okay.”
Laura smiled a sad smile as she brought a shaky hand up to touch Grant’s cheek. “He’s waiting for me, Grant. Waiting for me on the other side.”
Grant’s shoulder shook with sobs as he took her hand.
“Don’t cry, please, don’t cry. I’ll see you again.”
Grant shook his head as he tried to stop his tears and will himself to try and understand what she was saying. “I love you, Laura.”
“Her eyes smiled at him through the tears of pain, “Grant, tell mom and dad and the other. Tell them I love them. And don’t give--up on--Larissa.”
All of the sudden a look of agony washed over her face and her breath came in gasps. Then all of the sudden a look of peace came over her face. “The rain. Who would have thought that you could find peace in the rain? God’s peace. I love you, Grant.”
With those words, her eyes closed. It took a minute for Grant to realize that her chest had stopped rising and falling. Laura was gone.
A sudden emptiness and loneliness swept over him. His constant companion since he had been little was gone. The teasing, the sarcasm, the friendship they had. It was gone. Laura was gone. And there was nothing in the world that would bring her back.
He let go of her hand and glanced around, realizing the students that had been around them had scattered. Off to the side, a lone figure stood watching him. A sudden anger replaced the hurt he felt. This was all Larissa’s fault. She seemed to read his expression and turned and walked away.

Grant gently folded Laura’s arm across her chest and stood. The rain came down harder, enveloping him. And for once in his life, he had no idea what to do.


  1. That is like so. So. So. Sad. :'( Wow!! Great flash fiction, Jesseca! I love how you used the prompt. :)
    Hmm...I wonder why someone would've purposely given you that prompt... B-) Well, whatever the reason it's a good prompt. I may use it for something sometime... ;)

    1. I agree with Faith sooo sad :(
      GREAT JOB!! Really good story!

    2. Faith: Glad you liked it. ;) And no idea why someone would give my that prompt. . .maybe you should ask her.
      Oh, I'd love to see what you use it for!! :)

      Rishona: Yeah. . .I got a pretty sad prompt. :) I'm so happy you enjoyed it!!

    3. Maybe I will ask her. B-)

      *whispers* You just might cry through what I'm planning to use it for. ;)

    4. Not you TOO, Faith! Oh NO! Yeah...after visiting The Ink Loft I can see who gave you that prompt too, Jesseca. Hmm, I wonder why she would do that??? ;P

      Great story! You nearly had me in tears....

  2. Wow! That was incredible. Well done!

    1. Thank you, Lauren! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

  3. I agree with Faith, your story was so sad, but I really enjoyed it. It was great!

    1. It was super sad to write, too. But at the same time it ended up working out pretty well. :)
      Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it. :)

  4. Aww... Not sure there is any feedback I can give for this, but having read the whole story I must say I loved it. :)

    1. Yeah. . .it'd probably be hard to give feedback after you've read the story. But when I got the prompt it just fit so perfectly I decided to use it for both the story and the flash fiction. :)
      Thank you!!! I'm really super happy you liked it! :D

  5. Wow. You write well, and I so want to hear the rest of the story! I've often seen that prompt around on the internet, so it's interesting to see how you incorporated it as well. :)

    1. Thank you, Jessica! I actually did write the rest of the story for the prompt, so I'll probably be posting it next Friday. :)
      Yeah, I'd seen it to, and I was so surprised when it was my prompt! It was sad to write. . .but I enjoyed it. :)

  6. *Lip trembless*
    Waaaaaahahaha!! :'( Why?
    That was really sad. But well written! I can't imagine losing my sister like that. It would break my heart.

    1. Aww, sorry! Yeah, it was super sad to write as well. I was crying.
      Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.
      Yeah, I can't imagine losing one of my siblings either. I'm not sure I'd ever be able to get over it.

  7. I once realized that I could have lost one of my siblings. It was about half a year after it really could have been a distinct possibility. I started crying and was so thankful to God that He spared me from that. As much of a bother as my siblings are sometimes, I would rather die for them than see them die. I love them SO much.
    Great job on your section above.
    How would she text if she was dying? (I always have to ask questions like that.)

    1. Yeah, it'd be so hard to lose a sibling! And it's so true! Even is they can get annoying sometimes, I'd never want to see them die.

      Thank you. :)

      She sent the texts before she ran out. She wanted Grant to help with Larissa, but when Larissa ran outside, she followed.